Jumping into a new year like…
Jumping into new chances, new choices and new dreams. I spent the best part of the first few days this year trying to salvage things and draw ANY small silver linings and positive outcomes from what most people have deemed a ‘shit year’ or ‘the worst year ever’ and came up with more than I though existed underneath my exterior of frustration, sadness and disillusionment.
Now when we hear people mention the word ‘2020’ or hear the words ‘Covid’ or ‘Social Distancing’ it already gets the obligatory eye roll and these things brought much frustration along with them. It honestly feels like we had a year that went for a decade. I mean in the last twelve months alone (just in Australia) we went from raging bushfires to furious floods and then a never ending stream of fluctuating internal border closures that left families not able to see each other, or even spend Christmas together in some instances. It is crazy to think about the shifts we have seen in our political system and the absurd amount of power our State Premiers (Governors for all the US folk out there) have exerted over the population, and the civil liberties that were taken from us. But that is on a large (nation wide) scale…my struggles went even deeper on an individual level.
Those closest to me know JUST how challenging 2020 was for me and the tumble that my health and mindset took. From a diagnosis of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) to being trapped with the borders of my own state, let alone country #fuckyoucovid and having no outlet to escape and chase adventure and culture, I not only started to deal with a crumbling of my mind and emotions but also of my body, those cysters with PCOS know what I’m saying…chronic fatigue party of 1 🙋.
Through all the chaos and cave like moments trapped in the uninspiring 4 white walls of my tiny apartment, isolated and feeling like I would not see true happiness for several years after taking such a knock to my confidence, ambition and joy- I have realised that 2020 became the great awakening that I was really craving, that I really needed. The push to stop waiting for things to change and MAKE the changes I have put off in favour of playing it safe.
And do you want to know what the great thing is?! It BECAME the thing I most needed because I CHOSE for it to turn out that way.
We actively choose our mindset every damn day and that is a power I never want to stop harnessing or tapping into. And yes, there were dreary days and long nights spent in a Netflix coma wondering “when will all the madness end” and “I want my life back” and allowing myself to feel ALLLLLL the feels, having grace on myself if I didn’t feel like I could do the simplest of tasks that day, like get out of bed or leave the house, but I knew what I DID NOT want and exactly what my happiness was worth and what it would take to attain it.
Granted I had to make some serious changes to my ‘happiness plans’ and gave up trying to book that plane ticket abroad, but this allowed me to discover how to find that balance where you dance between hustling for growth and becoming still to process it and allow that growth to take place. I think that will be a forever process, but one that I should never stop pursuing. I am not saying that I have consistently maintained a happy and gratitude based mindset, because we are still living through unnecessary restrictions and locking down of citizens in the homes and suburbs (won’t even comment on how this reminds me of past historical events from last century) but it is something I am working towards every day.
I think that the most important thing we can possess and nourish is hope. Without hope and optimism, nothing will ever get better for you, even if the circumstances around you change for the better. Let’s all manifest and raise our vibe to see the world restored to the way it should be. Who’s with me?!
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