Belly up. Shit hits the fan. These expressions all describe a situation that is UNPLANNED, and let’s face it…not everything goes EXACTLY as we plan, even for the most seasoned of travellers or the most organised, planned out people.
Sometimes you will have a chilled, stress free trip, free of complications. Other times things will crop up and hit you in the face…that you never expected. This could be financial, relational, emotional, logistical or ALL of the above. Well THAT is EXACTLY what happened on my recent trip to London in December last year. ALL of the above.
The fact that the apparent ‘new variant Omicron’ had just ‘taken off’ certainly put a massive spanner in the works. It meant a ridiculous amount of brain breaking research and time spent pouring over google, facebook groups and government websites to decipher changing entry requirements, new compulsory paperwork and UMPTEEN number of required PCR tests (ALL $180 AUD a pop…RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE). It was quite jarring to be honest. And to think I would be leaving Australia for a few weeks (to get away from the draconian restrictions and paralysing media frenzy that has been our lives for the past two years) was a welcome thought. Only to have that bubble burst while in transit to find out that the UK (my destination for this trip) was reintroducing some restrictions. I was devastated. I just wanted to go somewhere where I would not have to hear the word covid or deal with any sort of impositions on my civil liberties. Unfortunately, I was not so lucky. However, I found it to be a small reprieve that in London things were far less controlling and strict that what I have dealt with in Australia for the past two years.
The purpose of my visit to London was to attend the wedding of a friend. Because of that, I decided to build a trip around it, involving a range of tourist activities I had not covered in any previous time I had spent in London. I wanted to engage with my love of Harry Potter, History, theatre performances and museums. Some of which I was able to accomplish, others that never got to happen.
From not having my dress arrive to my house in Sydney before my trip (the outfit I intended to wear to the wedding) and cutting into TWO days of my itinerary to run ALL over London looking for a suitable alternative, to my Lion King Musical tickets getting cancelled due to covid amongst the actors lets just say the trip did not accomplish everything that I wanted it to. BUT, that doesn’t even begin to cover the worst of it.
After originally planning to do a week in the USA before returning back to Australia, I scrapped this idea to make things more streamlined. I figured just getting to one country and back was enough stress for now and decided to go back to the USA later the following year. My flight was supposed to get me to California on Christmas Eve, in time to go skiing on Christmas Day at Big Bear Lake. That meant I was now going to be in London for Christmas as the cheapest flight to leave in late December was on the 26th. I was at peace with the decision and was happy to be returning to Summer in Sydney. Two weeks in London was more than enough. Frankly I was over it and ready to go home. A rare feeling for me as I usually just want to keep travelling when I take an international trip.
Then, my heart completely SANK. The PCR test I took on Christmas Eve came back via email that night as POSITIVE. I couldn’t believe it. My hopes of returning home had just been shattered, and I had already had one foot on the plane mentally. I was not sick. I had no symptoms. It was just luck of the draw. And this was NOT my lucky day.
Well naturally I went into problem solving mode at the same time as hysterical frustration. It meant that I was now stuck and trapped in a foreign country (a TRAUMATISING feeling to be literally trapped in a country that is NOT your HOME). Big LOVE to those who were there for me via messages and FaceTime as I bawled my eyes out and threw my arms up in anger- you know who you are. And bless you to my Aussie mate working reception at the hostel I was staying in, he was a calming presence amidst me melting down that I couldn’t leave and go home…arranging my extended stay.
I had to accept that I was not going to get home for a least 10 days. I had to go online and change my flight…for a fee (gotta love budget airlines). I rescheduled to fly Tuesday the 4th of January. This gave me 12 days from Christmas Eve to return a negative result on another test.
So after spending my Christmas alone and depressed in a London hostel (yep, pretty festive hey?!) with grey skies and cold temperatures I decided I needed to procure some of the Rapid Antigen Tests. You know, the pesky ‘at home’ things that look like pregnancy tests). I wanted to check that I was negative so I would know if I could bring my flight forward and just get OUT OF HERE. That returned negative. Only issue was that to try and change the flight again was going to be too expensive. I resigned myself to the fact that I would be stuck here for the next 7 days and to just make the most of it. I was not thrilled that I was burning through money I did not want to spend and shouldn’t have been spending (money I had put aside for moving to a new city once I returned to Australia, not to mention I had just quit my job in order to focus more on me and go back to teaching casually (supply or substitute for any UK/US or Canadian folks). I was also chasing my travel insurance to compensate me for the extra days of accomodation and PCR test. What a dog of a process that is! And, to add insult to injury I was paranoid that if I made an online account with the NHS (Britain’s National Healthcare, equivalent to Medicare in Australia) to register my details in order to pick up the free rapid tests from the Pharmacy that they would somehow have my details flagged from the Private provider I took my positive PCR test with, and then cause me issues when trying to fill out the Declaration that is needed for the Australian government in order to return to Australia (no more than 72 hours before departing). Just ANOTHER thing to add to the list. Thank God for Facebook groups. I would never have known about this requirement had I not looked at a post from other travellers encountering issues at the moment.
I should also take the time to mention that the whole issue of being stuck here was rather triggering for me as It brought up a lot of painful memories about JUST how much I HATED my London life when living here on a visa for 6 months a few years ago (those are stories for another day). There was a reason I was SO ready to fly back home and not being able to do that brought up some of those memories and feelings. Not something I had planned to relive or want to continue dwelling on.
But, despite all of the stress, drama and complications the absolute WORST thing I encountered sits on the relational aspect of the spectrum I mentioned earlier. I pretty much kept this information about the delay in my return to Australia to myself (aside from a few trusted friends and a select few family members). I did not want to engage in any sort of negative conversations about it. I only told people I TRUSTED and had the limited emotional energy to unpack the details with them. Not something I was willing to do over and over with others. For the most part, the majority of people were kind, compassionate, empathetic and supportive. However, I did cop some backlash about the situation I had found myself in, almost blaming me in some way for my own misfortune and using the opportunity to project differing (and rather unhelpful) viewpoints onto me. This HURT like nothing else. Regardless of how you feel about certain global issues and people’s personal choices, it is never a good idea to kick a woman while she is down and rub salt into the wound. A much better response would have been “I’m so sorry, that is awful…is there anything I can do to help”? I always try to be someone who strives for more love, kindness, compassion, peace, authenticity and empathy. Even if I think someone has made the wrong choice. It is ultimately their choice to make and I get to love them where they are at, unconditionally. I think the world needs more of that and your times of trial bring out those who are true to these characteristics.
After all that, I think I had every right to be curled up in a foetal position, bitter and angry, but I chose differently. I say this a lot but we really do create our own REALITIES. We chose our own thoughts, attitudes, actions and feelings every day. I allowed myself to FEEL what I was feeling and validated my own frustrations and then decided that while I was working through those I had an opportunity to make lemonade from lemons, as the old saying goes.
I found some cheap train tickets to Cambridge for a day and booked myself onto one of their FREE walking tours as a nice way to get out of London for a day. I also used some of the time to write up some blog posts from the different places and experiences of the trip. Well that, and a lot of NETFLIX because when you are sad and mad you just need some good Rom Coms or a decent Gilmore Girls or Friends marathon.
It was then that another plot twist occurred. Just when you thought something had to finally go my way. Well friends…not yet. STILL not my lucky day. The literal NIGHTMARE continued.
I went for my next PCR test on Sunday 2nd January in order to make my Tuesday 4th of January flight. I woke up Monday morning to the email with that dreaded word….POSITIVE. Who ever thought that would be the word most of us would fear the most?! That was 15 days after the wedding and 10 days after the Christmas Eve positive PCR (if you count the 24th as Day One). An then of course I sat for an hour and RAGED. I think I cried myself dry that morning. I then proceeded to spend an hour on hold with my airline trying to push back the flight AGAIN without paying the stupid fee it kept trying to charge by doing it online. Turns out doing it over the phone they charge you an even BIGGER fee. So I reverted back to doing it online. More money down the drain.
I checked the calendar of available flights and Saturday the 8th (ANOTHER 5 days) was the next available and ONLY remaining flight the airline was operating out of London for the WHOLE of January. I HAD to be on THAT flight. At the same time I had to extend my accommodation at the hostel and made another booking with ANOTHER PRIVATE PROVIDER for yet another PCR test. MORE MONEY CONTINUING TO GO DOWN THE DRAIN. Can you sense a theme or pattern for this trip?! LOST MONEY AND being SHIT OUTTA LUCK (some might say dealt a bad hand of cards at the poker table).
So I rebooked for Saturday the 8th (which was a 35 hour journey via Bangkok and Singapore…stopping in Singapore for 12 HOURS!) and had to hope and pray that my next PCR would come back as negative so I could FINALLY go HOME.
If that didn’t go my way I had two other options that were a little bit complex and not ideal. But I made it on the flight and as I sit here in my new apartment in Australia I have finally stopped and slowed down enough to reflect back on the crazy events of the last month.
The journey home was one filled with great frustration and stress. I think what pissed me off the most was during one of my stopovers being branded like cattle, herded like sheep and escorted to a ‘transit area’, barked at to ‘social distance’ like 5 year old Kindergarten students and not the grown adults that we are…. and basically locked there until we could get on our next flight, guarded by gatekeepers in plastic face shields and surgical robes over their clothes…with no ability to walk around the airport. The most draconian, controlling and unnecessary thing I have witnessed in my life. Suffice to say that I will be avoiding flying through that airport where possible for the foreseeable future.
Once landing in Sydney (despite how angry and appalled I am at the mass psychosis that exists around covid here and the media hysteria that has seeped into the minds of what I would have thought were logical Australians) I was ready to kiss the ground and be thankful for Australian soil. I was arriving back to warmer weather, friendly faces and a new life waiting for me in a new city. After such a wild experience, feeling rather weary I am more than ready for the fresh start I am walking into as we embark on a new year.
So let me address the title of this article and offer some tangible help. In such times of immense struggle, chaos and frustration there are a few things you can do to maintain your sanity and things back on track :
1. Breathe
2. Reach out to a few trusted love ones:
if you need to call in that extra love and support. Sometimes just the validation that can bring is enough to help pick you up and help you to keep carrying on.
3. If you are going to allow yourself to ‘fall apart’ (which you have every right to) make sure this is only temporary.
Give yourself a day to be pissed off, scream or cry and then pull it together. Which leads me to my next point…
4. Logically assess the situation and look at the options you have to correct things onto a better path.
Get out the calendar, your bank balance and draft a plan that best fits your needs and circumstances. For me, that was pushing back my flight, extending my stay at my current accommodation, finding another provider for my next PCR test and booking timeslots to visit a few of the museums I had not made it to. Luckily as a teacher this was my summer break and being delayed an extra two weeks was just absorbed by the school break, meaning I was not missing out on being back at work. I know if others were in my situation that would have been quite the predicament for them.
5. Make your choices and stand by them
You do not have the time and energy to doubt yourself, or allow judgment from others. Just make the decision that you think is best and run with it.
6. Contact your travel insurance if you need to make a claim
(FYI- I’m still chasing mine to compensate me as I write this ( 2 WEEKS after the fact!…not a happy little Vegemite!).
7. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You are the only one who is going to FULLY look out for you. Sometimes YOU are all YOU’ve got. You get to show up for yourself and be your own cheerleader.
So even though the first holiday I took in over two years (and the first international trip in almost three years) turned into an actual nightmare ( I do not feel that term is too dramatic for the conundrum I was in) it gives me a story to tell, a story that I hope can help someone, somewhere, somehow. Can help show that no matter how awful things get on the road you can always handle it and move through whatever roadblocks get in your way. As awful as it was, and I know it will take me time to really feel ANY kind of peace about and gratitude for such a rough ride, I believe that amidst all the chaos I met and ever greater version of myself. More powerful. A version with an even greater capacity, depth and breadth of resilience and strength. A woman who continues to RISE from the ashes (more than she has ever done before) and that is something no one can ever take away from me. Something I will always carry with me. Although I would never wish this on anyone, we ultimately decide if something happens FOR us or TO us. One of these is a victim mindset, the other that of an overcomer, welcoming the victory as a divine moment of testing our character, faith and strength. I’m still getting to that point but the most important thing is that I acknowledge it and I am actively working at it.
At the end of the day, you’ve got this. And don’t be discouraged…travelling is always a good idea even if it can turn chaotic. Don’t allow yourself to be stopped from exploring the world out of fear that things could be too hard or too difficult.
What is the craziest thing that has happened to you when you have been travelling? I would love to hear about it! Drop me a comment below.
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